4-18-2012 Some early pictures

Well, it has been one week ago yesterday when Dannii crossed the Rainbow Bridge.  I haven't shed a whole lot of tears, but there have been some. I guess its because I know that he is in a much better place and in no pain.   I truly do miss my boy.  However, I do not think Jenna and Zak miss Dannii at all!.

I came across some pictures of old, and thought I would post a few of what Dannii looked like in his younger days, plus a few of MzLilli (my very first basenji), and some "friends".  Hope you enjoy the photos.

  This picture here is of Lilli, my very first basenji, ever, and Peeve the cat.  Peeve liked Lilli and Lilli liked Peeve.  I wonder if it was because they were both black and white?

This was taken in the backyard.  There is a blue potato bush right behind me, and you should see it now!  Dannii and Lilli don't look too happy for some reason.

For some strange reason, this was how Lilli would sit in the chair!  She has her eyes closed, but I don't think she was asleep.

This is how I remember my Dannii!  He was so very handsome.  This was taken at Benicia dog park, before we started going to Point Isbel.

Dannii and his friend, Wyatt.  We called them the "bad boys of the dog park"!  For some strange reason, they would find and pick one certain dog, and would "tag team" that poor dog!  Everyone thought it was so cute and funny.  They never, ever hurt another dog, but whatever dog got tagged by Dannii and Wyatt just looked so confused afterwards.  Remember the song from the show "Cops"?  Bad boys, bad boys whatcha going to do bad boys?   Well, instead of using the words "bad boys" we used the words "bad dogs" instead.  We had lots of fun back in the day.

At first, I had thought this black and white basenji was Lilli, but upon closer inspection, I come to realize it was one of the "foster dogs" that I was fostering for BRAT.  I can not remember this dog's name, but I do remember, he got a forever home in Alaska!  Dannii got along with this dog, as did Lilli.  I also remember that this b/w would yodle.  The other dog in this photo is Wyatt.

My triubte to my beloved Dannii

I helped Dannii cross the rainbow bridge right around 11:20am on 4-10-2012.  He was so ready to go.  He did not even take a breath.  He was gone, like a puff of smoke.  I was so not ready.  I cried like a baby that my beloved baby was not going to be around any longer.  But took solace in the fact that he now has a new body and running free with the wind and enjoying the warmth of the sun.

These are the very last photo's that I was able to capture of Dannii.  Sunday, he had still gone outside, but spent most of the time trying to poo.

This was just after coming in from outside.  Dannii had been out for about an hour, but I don't think he enjoyed himself, as he was trying to go the bathroom the whole time.

Sometime during the night, Dannii had ended up going outside, and he slept in the doghouse (his own choosing) for the first time ever.  My son had told me that he had tried to get Dannii to come in the house, and he just didn't want to move.  So twice, before I had to leave for work on Monday morning, I went and checked on him.  At first I thought he was already gone, but no, his ear was just cold.  He still did not want to come in at either time.  So, as much as I hated too, I had to leave for work.   When I got home, Dannii was in the backyard.  He had come out of the doghouse and was laying in the warm sun.  Because when he tries and poo's, it runs down his backside, so, my son covered up Dannii's backend, to keep the flies off of him.   I tried to give him some water with a syringe, but he decided he can drink the water by himself, with no help from me, thank you very much.

Afterwards I got this big old comforter, and I folded it up, and got my son to come and help me carry Dannii into the house.  I have a dog pillow that we put the comforter on, but Dannii did not move.  He would watch me from time to time with his eyes.  I would sit by him and tell him that it was going to be ok, that I would help him to shed his body so that he would be free of pain and discomfort.

I had called my vet late Monday and told them that I would be bringing Dannii in on Tuesday to have him pts.  I had to make sure that the vet was going to come out to the car.  I did not want to have to bring him inside.  Although, I don't really think Dannii knew where he was at by that time, I just wanted him in a familiar place the he knew.

The very last photo of Dannii, before we put him in the car for his very last car ride.  He was looking at me.  I petted him and loved on him so much before we left.  I knew he was ready, but I sure wasn't.  Some part of me thought I was, but when he was gone, I bawled and bawled.

I was thinking of taking the day off from work, but got to thinking, what would I do at home?  Sit and cry, is what.  No, I went to work.  I had about an hour to myself, after all was said and done, before I actually started work.  I was really scatterbrained, and had a hard time concentrating on things.  Had to keep telling the students (am a driving instuctor) what the problem was and why I wasn't thinking straight.

It's so strange coming home and not having 3 dogs meet me at the door, or trying to find something to entice Dannii to eat. 

I miss my sweet baby boy.  I was so hoping that he would have lived a much longer life, but I guess it just wasn't meant to be.

This picture was taken back on February 5, 2012.  This is Dannii's memorial picture.  The poem that is on the picture says:

Warm light coming from far below, twinkling, sparkling is the candle's glow.  All is well up on the ridge, the place we know as Rainbow Bridge.
Furbabies sleeping in heaven's light, tended by candles in the night, peaceful dreams be theirs to keep, as they slumber in this night so deep.
Hearts on earth that miss them so, take comfort in the candles glow.  Watching for them in skies above, bound eternally by a cord of love.

May you rest in peace, run free with the wind, enjoy the warmth of the sun, and chase all the feral cats and rabbits, that your heart desires.    Till we meet again.

I LOVE YOU MY SWEET BOY

 

4-4-12 Last Chemo shot today

Not a whole lot had changed since Dannii got his last chemo shot on March 23rd.  The one thing that has changed, he has starting eating.  Which is good.  From the last shot, until today, he has NOT lost any weight, which is also a good thing.

He is eating mainly baby food in the 2.5oz jars, and goes through 4-6 in one day.  He will also eat some kibble, but not alot.  Some chicken thighs, and spaghetti and meatballs, and lunch meat.  I am hoping that this shot will kind of kick things up a notch and give him a few good weeks.  This is the very last shot he will get, as it was the 5th one.  He got one back in October while at the oncologist, and then one on the end of January, with a follow up shot a week later, now that's a total of 3 shots.  He got one a week and a half ago, and the one today, for a total of 5 shots.  He has not had a reaction to any of them, and that is good.

I haven't gotten any current pictures of him.  I tried today, but its windy out, and the wind is cold.  Every time I snapped the camera, Dannii had turned away from me.  This picture here was taken on the 25th of March.

I am hoping to get him back to Point Isabel again before he starts to get bad.  I don't know how he is going to be for the meet-up this month on the 29th.  Will just have to do one day at a time.  Am hoping to maybe go before the meet-up, if the weather is nice.  Zak need's to work some of that fat off that he has accumulated.

Here is a picture of Mocha, the neighbor's cat, and my "girl cat".  They are half sisters, same mom but from different litters.

Mocha is the one with the long fur, and the one closest.  Girl Cat is in the back, walking away.  Mocha doesn't like Girl Cat over on what she "thinks" is her property!  Which is where Mocha is standing.

Been busy, and the kids are now on Spring Break, but will try and post a bit more often when I can, or at least pictures.  I haven't been very good with either one the last week and a half.

You all come back again, now hear?

3-23-2012 Chemo shot today

I didn't know if Dannii would make it through the night or not.  He was really bad yesterday.  While I was at work, the vet's office called to say the Elspar had come in, but since I was at work, there was no way I could get Dannii in.  So, planned on bringing him in Friday morning, that is, if he survived the night.

Thankfully, I can say that he was still among us this morning, but not doing good.  The vet even asked me if I was sure that I wanted to do this, instead of just letting him go.  I thought he deserved one more chance of feeling good and having some good days ahead, hopefully, so yes, I went through with the Elspar.

The vet told me that if there is no change by Monday, then it is probably best to let him go.  I agreed.  So the next couple of days will tell the story.  When we got home, Dannii ate a jar of baby food, granted it was only a 2.5 oz jar, but non the less, it was something.

I had gone out and mowed the backyard, as it's going to be raining now for several days.  While I was mowing part of the lawn, I had to take a break.  Zak came out to check things out around "his" tree.

Dannii and Jenna came out also.  Dannii had been out earlier basking in the sunshine, then had gone back into the house.  When I went back outside to finish the lawn, him and Jenna came out to see what I was doing.

Now, you have to remember, we had only been home from the vets for about an hour or so, so I think he was doing ok here.

Also, it turned out that he was dehydrated again, so he got some sub q fluids at the vets, and I have the remaining of the bag here to give him some over the next 3 days.

So far today, he has eaten a total of 4 baby jars of food, a little bit of my tuna sandwich, and a few treats.  That's the most he has eaten since Wednesday.

Am praying that things will improve over the next few days.  He's hung on this long when the vets said he would never see his birthday in December (past), and here we are the end of March!  Praying that we get through the week-end. 

You all come back again, now hear?

3-22-2012

Not sure how much longer Dannii is going to be hanging on.  When I got up this morning, he was not in his chair.  Not unusual, I figured that he had gone outside to go to the bathroom.  After getting the laundry out of the dryer, I stuck my head out the back door, and in looked in the yard.  I didn't see Dannii at all.  So, I thought that he had come back inside, while I was at the kitchen sink.  So, take laundry inside, and check, and no Dannii!  I put the small amount of laundry away, and go back outside, and walk the yard.  Still not seeing him, until........I turned and looked in the corner.  There he was, down.  I was half sick that he had passed, or was just asleep.  He was asleep.  Outside, were its cold, and the grass was semi wet with due.

So, I got him up, and had him come back into the house.  He kept wondering out to the garage and back inside, like he was trying to go poo.  Right now, he is laying down in the hall.  I gave him his nausea pills and apptite stimulant, about a half hour ago.  Right now, he doesn't look like he will eat anything at all.  So am not even going to try yet.  Hopefully in another half hour or maybe an hour, I can get him to take something.

My friend Chris, from our Basenji meet-up's, had called my vet and paid for another round of Elspar for Dannii.  That was so very kind and sweet of him.  I left the decision up to him, if he wanted to do that or not.  This will be the very last round he gets, as it will be his 4th and 5th shot.  There is enough in one bottle for two (2) shots.  I am just praying that he doesn't have a reaction to any of them.  I also pray that they will kick in like it did before, and give him another few weeks of comfort.

I hate seeing him like this.  He has his head hanging down most of the time now.  His face has sunken in some.  It just would have been nice if we could have gotten the Elspar last week.  I pray that its not too late this time.

These 2 pictures were taken on 3-20-2012

These pictures were taken yesterday 3-21-2012

This one is taken of Zak.  He was half under a blanket, with his head resting on the arm of the chair.

Just praying now that the Elspar will come in either today or tomorrow, and I can get Dannii in to get his shot.  I won't be able to pick him up, as I will be at work, so hopefully, I can get my son to pick him up and bring him home.

I wanted to mention that Dannii finally ate a little bit late yesterday.  He ate a 2.5oz jar of baby food.  A few hours later (I had some stew left over from last week, that I had in the fridge), so I gave him a small amount of stew (after I heated it up), and he went to town on that.  I gave him a bit more, and he ate that also.  I have enough for two more feedings, and hopefully he will eat at least one of them today, of not both.

Well, that's all for today, you all come back again, now hear?

3-20-2012

Not much of a change since the last post.  Dannii's hardly eating at all.  I only have 2 of the nausea pills left, and put in an order for more with KV Vet, and found out that there is NO refills!  So they faxed over to the vet for some more, but am afraid I am going to have to go into the vets and buy a box, as the one's I ordered will not be here in time.  Through KV the meds are only $8.98 a box, at my vet's they charge $20.00, and these are only for a box of 4 tabs.......even through KV!  Vets are out to suck you dry to matter which way you look at it.

These were all taken today.  He is having a very hard time going poo.  He strains, and you can hear him grunt, like he is trying to push everything out.  I feel so badly for him.

Yesterday, he did drink a can of DogSure, all but about a tablespoon.  I guess that's pretty good considering.  He only drank a little of his DogSure this morning.  Will see if I can get him to take some before I leave for work, which is in a half hour.

A friend will willing to do another round of Elspar for Dannii.  I never asked.  Am going to leave him up to him.  I emailed him the vets number again, so he can talk to them and decided what to do, but if we do go through with this, this is going to be the last one.  This is will the 3rd round of the Elspar, and I just don't want to have to drag this on any longer.  Dannii is still among us, his eyes are very much alive, so I know that he is really not ready to make his final journey home.

Still would like prayers for my baby.  Its so heartbreaking to watch him having to go through all of this.  Thankfully, he doesn't seem to be in any pain right now.

You all come back again, now hear?

3-16-2012 Dripping a lot of blood

For the past couple of mornings, when I get up, my living room floor is covered in poo and blood.  I'm not talking just a little bit of blood, but quite a bit, that's mixed in with the poo.  Not fun waking up and first thing, have to mop the floor!  I have tried putting a diaper on Dannii, but he will only leave it on for so long, then he rips it off.

I tried to see if he would go outside, but he didn't even want to get up out of his chair.  Not good.  Besides, he's breathing "kind of hard".  Not really sure what I mean by that, but its not his normal breathing.  Just kind of "heavy" is more like it, I guess.

I think his time is very close at hand.  There's still much going on with his eyes.  Am praying we can get through the week-end before any decisions have to be made.

I hope that this is not the last photo of Dannii.

He has not eaten anything so far this morning.  I did give him his nausea pill and appitite stimulant pills.  I tried to see if he would take some DogSure, but no.  So I gave him about 12mls of DogSure, and then two smaller amounts.  Hoping that that might stimulate him into drinking, but so far, no.  Will try again after a little while.  Have to leave for work soon, and son will be gone for his daughter's birthday.  So, nobody's going to be home, until I get home around 8pm.  Hopefully either I or my son can get Dannii to take some DogSure or at least maybe eat something, before we all have to leave.

Well, that's all for right now.  You all come back again, now hear?

3-13-12

All Dannii had yesterday was some DogSure.  He didn't even finish the whole can, but did drink most of it.  No solid foods, no lunchmeat, nothing.  I fixed all these different foods, and now he won't touch them.  He used to chow down liver, but no more.  I had to end up giving it to Jenna and Zak before it went bad.  I baked up chicken thighs and cut them all up, and so far, he's refusing to eat them too.  No scrambled eggs, either.

I doubled his cerena (nausea pill) and his appitite stimulant pills, he used to just get one of each, but I gave him two of each, and am waiting for them to kick in.  Directions say a half hour before a meal.  Well, I am waiting longer than that.  Before, he would go all day and not eat until around dinnertime.  Am going to see if I can get him to eat or drink his DogSure before I have to leave for work. 

These pictures were taken yesterday.  We are going to have rain for the next 5 days or so, so I doubt if I'll be able to get him outside during that time.  One just never knows.

He likes being outside.  If he didn't stop and try and poo every few minutes, you would still never know that he was sick.  Sometimes this disease has me so totally baffled.  I keep thinking that if he truly has cancer, shouldn't he have passed over by now?  Could it be something else entirely?   I just don't have the $$$$ to find those things out.  He got an Elspar shot (chemo), and that seemed to help very well back in February.  So, if he doesn't have cancer, would the Elspar still do any good?  If its not cancer, what else could it be?  All interesting questions, and to which I will never have an answer.

Like I stated previously, we are just taking it one day at a time.  I have no idea how much longer he's going to be able to hang on.  I was thinking that IF he was still here when I get my settlement (and depending on how much it is; from the car accident from two years ago), then I would certainly do a few tests, just to begin with to see what's going on.  The mediation for the settlement isn't until the end of June, so I doubt that is going to happen.  It would be nice if he was still here and all, but if I can't get him to eat or drink the DogSure................. need I say anymore?

Well, you all come back again, now hear?

3-11-2012 Follow-up to this evening's blog

It is after 9p.m. here in California.  Before I trotted off to my room, to finish checking my email and Facebook.  I decided to try and see if Dannii would eat any of the round steak that I had pan fried up earlier today.  He ate pretty well!  I have the steak cut up into small (not too small) bite sizes pieces and put them in a covered bowl in the fridge.  So, I only grabbed a small handful, just to see if he would eat.  Which he did.  So I went and got some more, and he ate them.  So, I went and got the bowl, and was hand feeding him pieces, maybe hoping he would eat them all.  But, he didn't, but he made a pretty good dent!  There is just enough for one meal tomorrow.  Hopefully he will finish the bowl off then. He did good!

I also wanted to mention that I have been noticing that he, (I don't really know how to described it), he shakes a bit.  Not like he's cold, but more like a person with Parkinson's disease.  I've watched him kind of stumble when walking, almost loosing his balance.  Funny thing though, when he's outside that barely happen's...........it does, but just not ask much as when he is in the house.  Could the cancer have gone into the brain.........possibly.  Not going to be running any tests to find out, as nothing can be done about it anyhow.

You all come back again, now hear?

3-8 & 11-2012

These 3 pictures were taken on 3-8-12

This is Sunday March 11, 2012.  Dannii is still barely eating anything.  Ran out of DogSure, but even the last can he played with, would drink some, and then not want it, but did finally finish it off.  I ordered 10 cans, but they have yet to arrive, would have thought they would have been here yesterday, but no.  So, I went to Petco, they didn't have any, but I bought a can of Goats milk, and then a can of puppy milk, which he has had before.  I thought maybe he would take to the Goats milk, but nope, and he wouldn't touch the puppy milk either.  Had Pappa Murphys pizza last night, and he did eat a few slices of that, so at least it was something. 

Today, I bought a couple of packages of thinly sliced round steak (stir fry).  I pan fried one package up, and Dannii ate a couple of slices of that.  Am not sure if his teeth are bothering him or what. But it seems that he doesn't want to chew anything.  I fixed myself a Fiesta Potato for dinner, and usually divide the skin from the baked potato into 3 slices, so all 3 dogs can have a piece.  Dannii will normally chow this down, but again, its like he doesn't want to chew, so he only ate a few bites and left the rest.  In the meantime, I baked up the last of the chicken thighs, I cut one piece up, and he wouldn't touch it.  So, I divided it into 2 bowls, one for Jenna and one for Zak.  Dannii came and ate most of the chicken thigh that I had in Jenna bowl!  He wouldn't eat it from my hand or off of a fork!  He wouldn't eat anymore, and left a piece in the bowl.  I don't know what's going on.  He has got my truly baffled as far as his eating will go.

I can't afford to take him into the vets, as I had thought he would be near his end days by now.  He is still drinking water, so I know he's not dehydrated and that is a good thing.  I think I mentioned in a previous post that I upped his prednisone from 1.5 tablets twice a day to 2 tablets twice a day.  So he is actually getting 1 extra tablet for the whole day.  Not sure if its making any difference or not.  After when he got his Elspar shot last month, he had NO problem going outside to do his duty.  Now, because he feels like he has to go all the time, now he will hunch himself over in the house, and I have woken up in the mornings to bloody poo on the floor.  When I happen to catch him in the house doing that, I run him outside.  With his bloody poo and Jenna peeing and crapping on the floor, now one of the cats, threw up on my bed!  Am so tired of all this mess.  Before I could clean that up off the bed, one of the dogs decided to eat it!

These pictures were taken today.

Nice head-shot of Zak with his brand new collar!

 

Well, you all come back again, now hear?

3-8-12

I fixed Dannii an omelet yesterday for breakfast, he wouldn't eat, but maybe 1/3 of it.  Turned his nose up at it.  However, he did drink some DogSure, maybe just a bit more than half of the can.  About an hour or so later, I gave him the rest of the DogSure, and he finished it up.  Since I was off yesterday, I had let him outside along with Zak.  I even let Jenna out, but I had her on a leash, as she takes off. 

Dannii nearest to car, and Zak

Dannii

Girl Cat, looks a lot like Mocha, but she has shorter fur

Fat Zak needs to go on a diet

Jenna waiting to go outside

Jenna has to be on a leash, she will take off, & Dannii

Jenna's not happy being on a leash

Dannii

Zak crossed the road, but came back when called

Zak on our side of the road

Dannii

Shadow, neighbor's dog, can't stand being in the sun for long

Shadow and Zak

All waiting to go back inside

Dannii laying next to the woodstove for heat

I fixed spaghetti for dinner, hoping Dannii would eat some, which he did, but truly it was not very much.  I was disappointed.  I was hoping he would have eaten more than he had.  He did eat some lunchmeat (chicken), so he did get some food in him.

We are just doing one day at a time, as I have no idea how long this is going to go on.  All the foods, he used to eat like the chicken thighs, he won't touch anymore, not even chicken breasts, nothing.  Maybe its because he knows that he will have to poop it out sooner or later, I just don't know.  The lymphoma is in his rectum, and he is starting to bleed now.

I hate this disease and what its doing to Dannii.  Of all the places for this to show up, why in his rectum?  Even the oncologist said that its rare, but it does happen, and that he has treated a few of them..  My prayer is still for the good LORD to take Dannii in his sleep.

You all come back again, now hear?